i blame society.

Be yourself;

but not so much as to make others uncomfortable.

Drink less;

but still go to brunch for bottomless mimosas.

Stop smoking. 

Eat more vegetables.

Drink more water. 

Be an artist;

but not as your career.

Stop sleeping past noon. 

Go to bed earlier. 

Don’t do drugs.

Find someone to date to be happy;

but don’t date someone just to be happy.

Be confident;

but not too confident.

Spend less money. 

Create a budget. 

Work out;

but don’t be the person who tells everyone about it.

Have lots of friends to be happy.

Be smart;

but not too smart.

Clean your room.

Do the laundry;

fold it and put it away.

A glass of wine alone on the couch is okay;

a bottle of wine alone on the couch is not.

Read more. 

Water the plants.

Recycle. 

Floss.

Don’t sleep with random people;

but make sure you’re having sex.

Be vegetarian.

Don’t be vegetarian.

Stop dwelling on the past.

Don’t be anxious about the future.

Have health insurance;

never use it.

Don’t work too much;

but make a lot of money.

Listen to podcasts. 

Pay attention to the news.

Meet someone;

but don’t tell anyone you met on tinder.

Cook dinner. Meal prep.

Make smoothies for breakfast.


Drink more water. 

Oreos are not acceptable for dinner. 

Neither is ice cream.

Write more.

Travel.

Plan for the future. 

Have a political opinion;
but don’t talk about it too loudly.

Don’t wear clothing too revealing. 

Use a reusable straw. 

Don’t wear white pants after Labor Day. 


Be pissed about the man saying how beautiful you are on the street;

but pretend you didn’t hear him. 

Love what you do;

but make sure it’s practical.

We are human.


We have our own battles;

our own pleasures.

Making do in the only way we know how.

Let’s cut each other some slack.

Welcome to the ‘Fall of Hate’ 2019. 

(fall the season, not the verb).